Blog %

There has been much discussion raised about "Why are women leaving Architecture? and more broadly, Why is the profession losing key talent?"  Both women and men practitioners are disillusioned by the myth of work/life balance: Women are grappling with "have it all" expectations of juggling family time with the demands of full-time work.  Men are struggling to support their families solely on an architect's salary and fall back on asking spouses to maintain their jobs. The lack of affordable childcare and high cost of living only magnifies the challenges.  How did we end up in this modern family dilemma? What can we do to improve the situation?

An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth: Deepika Padam, AIA

 

 

 

 

I can comfortably say that I have seen all sides of the profession. I had worked with firms large and small before I started my sole-practice, while teaching design studio at an architecture school. Now I am in the Public sector working for a client group. Throughout my career, I have volunteered for groups I strongly believe in, AIA is one of them. I am an #archimom of only 8 months. I may not have many pointers from a mom’s perspective, but definitely a few from a female architect’s perspective.

Something I’m pretty sure I share with the other #Archimoms out there: Lack of time. So I’ll get right to it! My typical day right now starts with feeding, changing, and handing over my baby to the nanny before I rush to catch the train for my hour and a half commute. I like to read or catch up on social media before I get to work. Psst… Occasionally I knit on the train! I never take private calls during work hours unless it is an urgent matter. At the end of the day I rush home to feed, change, and get my baby to bed. I think the schedule will remain this way until my son is a few years old. After taxes and nanny income, I barely see much money from my salary. But I must work because the longer I don’t work, the harder it will be to get back to work. That’s the catch 22 of this profession.

My moments of truth:

  • Don’t doubt yourself. You can handle more than you imagine. The torturous years of architecture school followed by long hours at work are a great preparation for anything you might want to do in the future. If I hadn’t got licensed early in my career, I wouldn’t have had the freedom, ability, and confidence to open my business when I needed to. So get that license quickly and believe in yourself.
  • Volunteer. If I hadn’t been engaged in AIA as deeply as I have been, I wouldn’t have had the opportunities I’ve had over the years. I have got jobs through AIA connections, but more importantly, being a volunteer has built me into a confident speaker and presenter. It’s a great way of honing in on those soft skills that are essential for success in architecture. Volunteering in local communities takes you a step further into serving. It’s not all about what you can get out of something; it’s also about what you can give to others. Being President of a local AIA and USGBC chapters hasn’t proven to be as fulfilling to me as mentoring young professionals.
  • Celebrate your successes. But then aim higher. You always need to look forward to something. Don’t forget your dreams and keep working on them. Nobody is going to bring the fruits to you in a silver platter; you need to work hard for them. And when you do achieve your dreams, thank the people who helped you and help others in return.
  • If you are a woman, of color, and of a foreign nationality with an accent, you are not alone. When you fail at something, it’s probably not because of those reasons. So stop feeling like you are being discriminated against. Discrimination happens to people for a variety of reasons, with no exceptions. Better to have a positive outlook and move on. You deserve better.
  • If you decide to quit architecture, all the power to you. If you can handle this profession, you can handle anything. Life is unpredictable, and plans are just plans.
  • Working in an architecture firm is not the only way to practice. There are other avenues. Open your eyes to all possibilities. Negotiate your terms; never agree to the first offer. I’ve never accepted a job at the initially offered salary, negotiation is not difficult. But remember, it’s not all about salary. What are your priorities? Speak up.
  • Before you start your business, do your research. A lot goes into it. The first step is talk to someone who has succeeded or failed at it.
  • You can have a life outside of architecture. You just need to prioritize it. I refuse to work more than 40 hours a week. The entire profession needs to. The day will come when you will burn out. So take that lunch break, and go home at 5. Because work never ends, but your life will end someday. That’s guaranteed.
  • A woman can be an architect, and still manage to be a mother. Or whatever your other desires for a fulfilled life are. You CAN have it all. Make sure to have time for yourself. If you are serene inside, those who matter the most will cherish you more.
  • If you are not happy at work, don’t feel obligated to stay. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Fight your own battles and build a support network. Start looking and find another opportunity.
  • It is impossible for me to do it all by myself. I wouldn’t be able to be an #archimom without my husband being an #archidad! We take turns all the time in taking care of our infant baby. And we are both sleep deprived! Still trying to figure out the parenting secrets.

Deepika Padam, AIA, LEED AP BD+C, GGP

@deepikapadam

Would you like to see more Archimom Stories? See who else has dropped in to share. 

 

An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth: Rosa Sheng, AIA

While I wanted to join the #Architalks fun earlier last week with a blog contribution representing a typical day in the life from my own #Archimom perspective, I was stretched thin with multiple project meetings, afterwork care and quality time with my 2 girls, TM32PP outreach and "other" projects. Regardless of the "full" days, I was most paralyzed with the thought of choosing which "day" to highlight that would provide an authentic snapshot of who I am.

So after a week of careful thinking, I am sharing my authentic self here. While I am still a relative rookie/newbie to social media, I started my official open Twitter presence earlier this year. I fumbled with the "tagline" that would briefly sum-up who I am. It took me awhile and it took a few iterations to come up with the following: Architect, Innovator, Maker, TigerMama, AIASF Board of Director, Chair of @Miss32Percent. Each has a place in defining me.

I am 9+ years in as an #Archimom. It's never an identity that I had envisioned for myself when I decided at age 11 to become an Architect. And yet, I have come to embrace the chameleon-like quality of Archimom-ness as second nature. But let's be frank and candid here, it's not easy, it takes hard work, passion and perseverance. While a career in Architecture is difficult enough to maintain, adding marriage and motherhood into the mix has its own unique challenges. There have been more sleepless nights than the deteriorating memory can catalogue. Resolve not to break down in despair, even though you sometimes wonder if you are insane for making these choices. Looking back, I have never regretted my decision to become an architect, spouse or mother. But it is a precarious puzzle to navigate on a daily basis as far as owning your #Archimom identity, choosing your priorities, and how to divide your time.

I have been fortunate. I had a great role model in my Thesis advisor/professor Marleen Kay Davis at Syracuse University School of Architecture. She balanced teaching Architecture while raising 2 young children with calm, confidence and grace. I graduated during a recession in 1994 and changed jobs quite a bit trying to find my passion and the right fit. I was hired by Bohlin Cywinski Jackson in 1997, moved to Pittsburgh, Pa and started working on the Pixar Animation Studios in Emeryville, CA. When asked by our client of what we could do to speed up the development of the project, I half-jokingly suggested that they should move our entire team out to California. Well, 3 months later, we moved out west to finish the project and ended up establishing roots for the San Francisco office. At the tale end of the Pixar project, I met my partner in "crimes of passion". Since then, my personal and professional lives have been deeply interwoven. 

I have had the rare opportunity to work on some of the most prolific projects of our time; including the Apple High-Profile Retail Stores, Lorry I. Lokey Graduate School of Business at Mills College, Square Headquarters. But more importantly, I have worked with some of the most amazing clients, consultants and project teams; relationships that have valued my contributions, respected my time and supported my journey as an Architect with a family.

An Archimom's Secret Sauce Ingredients :

  • Be authentic, be hopeful, be resilient, be proud. 
  • Get Licensed as soon as you possibly can. Life happens and there will always be another project deadline. Yes it's expensive, but think of all the money you invested in going to Architecture School. Think of it like gaining citizenship. You have more rights (and responsibilities).
  • Taking a leave of absence: for off-ramping and on-ramping between your leave, come up with a plan/flexible schedule that works for you. Negotiate. It's okay if things may change, but maintain clear communication. Stay connected while you are on leave. 
  • My spouse is my co-parent and equal life partner in all things. He makes leaning out possible. 
  • Invest in childcare, Invest in your future; find the right fit of values, hours and flexibility. It may be difficult to resolve the cost of care being close a part-time salary returning from leave. The longer you stay away from practice, the more difficult the journey will be getting back in.   
  • Face the Confidence Conundrum. Speak up. Know your worth and value. Bias is out there, especially for lack of understanding of the #Archimom's dilemma. Don't forgo asking for a raise, even if you think that you are fortunate to have a flexible schedule coming back from leave.
  • Expect the unexpected. While you try to establish some resemblance of order, structure and peace in your life, be prepared for things to go south. Don't beat yourself up for coming up short, tomorrow is another day.
  • Set aside time for you and your spouse to do special things once a month or more often if you can. It is these times of doing somethings out of the ordinary that you will feel most inspired and rejuvenated. ( aka. "Treat Yourself" or "The Finer Things Club). 
  • Build a support network. They can be clients, consultants, project team members and other Archimoms. Have them be your mentors and champions. Share your challenges and your triumphs.

Everyday Moments of Truth: 

  • We have a morning and evening routine that changes everyday. Having a working family Google calendar is essential for remembering all the appointments, bill payments, child care and life's important events. 
  • I try to read with my kids every night since a very early age. It is quality bonding time and you are also saving on future SAT Prep courses.
  • I love to cook. So much so that I spend a lot of time making food for my family. I cook a lot on the weekends and then fridge or freeze for the coming week. Friday nights are my night off, so we splurge and dine out. We eat breakfast and dinner together as much as possible. Family conversation is what I look forward to during our meals.
  • It is difficult, but work and life flexibility brings the challenge of setting boundaries. Work while at work and focus on family while at home. You will feel less guilty. 
  • I really try to leave the office when I have committed to leave. I try to check in with my project team members at least an 1 hour before departing so I don't get caught talking and leaving abruptly or worse, getting home late to relieve the nanny. I ask for special meetings to be scheduled with 3 days notice prior so that I can make alternate caregiving arrangements.
  • Prioritize face time that you spend at work to have collaborative meetings and interaction. Solitary/quiet work usually takes place at home, if need be, after the kids go to bed. I leverage email on my iphone so that I can be responsive when necessary during the week.
  • With The Missing 32% Project, life has become really full. Some have asked, "How do you do it all?" My secret? I don't do it all at the same time. It's like the story about the jar with rocks, pebbles and sand. Figure out what your rocks are and put them in the jar first. I have learned more recently from reading Leading the Life You Want, by Stew Friedman. What gives you energy? Focus on those things and try to tie them together. It has been life changing and worth your time to read.

Rosa T. Sheng, AIA, LEED AP BD+C, @rosasheng

Senior Associate at Bohlin Cywinski Jackson

Would you like to see more Archimom Stories? See who else has dropped in to share. 

An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth: Laura Melville Thomas, AIA

I am a newbie to social media. I was born in the Baby Boomer years, and learned to draft and letter and do construction documents by hand.  Here’s the catch, the only reason that I am involved in any way with “social media” is my eldest son---an advertising, communication digital media guru.  So, yes, I am an #ArchiMom and proud of it.

I have been following the discussions about the missing 32% of women working in the architectural profession on social media, and saddened because in the –gulp--almost 35 years since I graduated with my professional degree it has not improved much, if at all. Following my sons’ instructions about keeping up with social media (interesting how things flip) I have been following the “Day in the life of an Architect Series” on Twitter.  It was great, but wait ---hold on, what? Where are the REST OF THE WOMEN?  Twelve posts, and only two from women architects. How can that be?

I look at this a bit differently, a bit in the rear view mirror, as I am somewhat more “seasoned” (read older) than many who posted.  Perhaps this is a good thing, I am looking at motherhood and the working architectural professional with many years experience.

I became an Architect because I loved to draw and make things. I didn’t yet understand what design was. I still draw and paint and design. My mother was a working professional, and a British Navy veteran of WWII. She set my compass.  It never entered my mind that I would not continue to work professionally with a family. 

I was blessed to have a woman professor as part of my thesis committee, to move to Boston after graduation and get the job that I really wanted, during (OK, yet another) recession, and to be hired by and work with a woman partner in a great firm. Thank you Donna and Dell. I had mentors. They taught me to be tough enough, yet genuinely human in my thinking and in the workplace. We are still friends.

I have been married to another Architect for 32 years now. He is my biggest supporter and will not let me quit---no matter how tired I am or frustrated or disappointed I might be.  He helped me with our children daily, making their lives part of his.  Except laundry. He hates laundry, but that’s OK, I am a terrible cook.  We have raised our young children together into our grown sons.  I relate to every comment about juggling client needs and family needs,  personal time, and even baby spit on black clothes.

Now I am “the Boss”.  I have grown from just me as a sole proprietor to owning a multidisciplinary firm of 11.  We have 4 men and 7 women.  Go figure!?  I appreciate all of them.  I am now the mentor and the boss and it is my turn to not only set standards and expectations, but to pay it forward.

My ‘Secret Sauce’ Recipe Ingredients:

  • A strong woman architect mentor.  (Thanks Dell)
  • A supportive family and/or spouse.
  • Great child care (Thanks Dee)
  • A flexible schedule and attitude.
  • Passion for what you do.
  • And the last, my super secret, all-powerful ingredient: Living, working and having my kids go to school in one zip code.

My everyday moments of truth:

  • My professional life is rewarding.  The rewards come from the design work, the finished projects, the sketching, the watercolors, the interactions with my clients and colleagues.
  • It is also challenging and frustrating and exhausting and sometimes NO FUN. Especially when I find myself spending as much time-or more running the business end. Proposals, financials, insurance, hiring, firing (ugh!) and MBE/WBE certifications.
  • I find time to do something for myself every day.  Swim, run, paint, play music. There IS time. For me it is an early swim or run, before work.  Luckily my husband and I switched off early/late schedules when the boys were young.  I think that we only forgot to pick up our sons at swim practice once…
  • Understand how to “Declare it done”---not finished, just done. It will save your sanity.
  • Always “Follow Up Beyond Belief.”  It will save your reputation.
  • Do not work a lot of overtime. Ever. Get your work done and go home.
  • It is not going to be perfect.  In either the child raising or working categories.  Give yourself a break.  And this coming from a type A++person is really hard to do. I still sometimes beat myself up. Just throw in a child’s major illness or special needs into the mix and then you will truly find out what you are made of.
  • Don’t throw anyone under the bus. If you accidentally do, apologize.
  • Thank, thank, and thank again those that help you. It does take a village.
  • My two grown sons have become wonderful men in their own right with their own careers. They have seen their mom’s work and they have always been proud of me, even when I think I have let them down with unnecessary impatience or expectations.  I, of course, see thousands of things that I could have done better.  But that’s OK, my family and my firm are still here and getting stronger.
  • Show young professional women that they can do it.  Don’t give up.  #ArchiMom

Laura Melville Thomas, AIA, LEED AP @LauraMTARX 

President, Melville Thomas Architects, Inc., Baltimore, MD

Would you like to see more Archimom Stories? See who else has dropped in to share. 

An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth: Emily Grandstaff-Rice, FAIA

In my social media feed, it was difficult to overlook the #ArchiTalks series last week prompted by Life of An Architect blogger and architect Bob Borson AIA. With the topic "A Day in the Life of …” the like-minded bloggers/architects did a wonderful job composing a diverse range of responses. While individual contributions, each response was strategically posted on the same day through social media. It was like an early holiday gift of personal narratives about my favorite kind of people—architects.

While reading the many posts, I have learned we all wake up early, we all struggle with things we don't want to do, we all think about the now and the future, and we all eventually go to asleep to wake up and do it again... and again. There were moments in which I saw how my life was similar, but also uniquely different. I was not the only one to notice this. As Laura Thomas AIA and AIASF The Missing 32% pointed out on Twitter, what was missing from the collective group was the voice of an #ArchiMom.

I was encouraged by how many parents (fathers) were featured. My kids are fortunate to have not one, but two architect parents, so I love that parenting was a key part of many of the daily chronicles especially for fathers. But still, where were the mothers?

It's OK. We're used to being flying on their periphery of keeping up with water cooler conversation. I have been known to roll my eyes at the office sports talk in the morning. Either I'm too old or I have to pick up my kids to go out with my co-workers for regular Friday drinks. And yes, I do keep an extra set of clothes at work.

I am an architect. I am a mother. And this is my list of everyday moments of truth to contribute to the conversation because honestly, there is no typical day for me:

  • I work on things that don't get done. Not because I lack the ability to get them done, but because there is no 'done', only an agreement with myself that the work has moved closer to 'good enough'.
  • I think wild thoughts. This is because I am and will always be a dreamer. (This is either a symptom or a side effect of falling in love with architecture.)
  • I get obsessed by details. I get obsessed by process. I get obsessed by typeface. I get obsessed by making an excel spreadsheet. I get obsessed at the screw that is not placed in the right location. If OCD is marked by anxiety and unease of triggers, what do I call when I get really worked by my visual environment? I love to see. I love to think. I love to design. It is very difficult to turn this off and not notice my environment.
  • I get stopped by 10,000 little questions about 10,000 little things every single day. Sometimes my patience runs short. OK, often my patience runs short. Maybe if I wasn't interrupted so much I could get things done... maybe not. Quiet is a luxury.
  • Getting lost in the work is part of the work. Design is not a linear process.
  • Nothing can be found unless it is first declared lost. (My kids are so sick of me saying this.)
  • More than my love for architecture, I love people. Without people there are no buildings.
  • Architecture is a form of education. Architecture is a form of communication. We are as much teachers and storytellers as space creators and problem solvers. We co-create the environment of a space and its meaning. Architecture will always be more than just a building.
  • I work to fulfill both my potential as an architect and to create a better world for my children. Seeing the world through their eyes has been a life changing experience for me. I am a better architect because of them. I am a better person for them.

Emily Grandstaff-Rice, FAIA, LEED AP, @egrfaia

 

Would you like to see more Archimom Stories? See who else has dropped in to share. 

An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth: Blog series

“Try to be present in each moment. Each moment is its own gift. You can remember them, but you cannot get them back once they are gone. Hope for the joy of new moments, with their own gifts.”
— Joseph Bakter
buildingblocks.jpg

Last Monday, a group of well respected, fellow architect-bloggers who periodically post to #Architalks (the Architect's "social media water cooler") on different topics featured "A typical day in the life of an Architect". Started by Bob Borson (Life of an Architect) #Architalks is a brilliant idea that produced a veritable collection of candid and meaningful stories of "What do Architects do all day?" benefitting the public at large and fellow architects. Many of them shared their perspectives as sole practitioners and noticeably only two were women. By no means exclusive, inadvertently this tweet and the #Architalks blog series lead to some quick self-reflection: Is there a typical day as an Architect through my lens of wife and mother? The short answer was "No. The typical day does not exist in "a day in the life" for me, (and many of my fellow Architect parents and even more so for Architect mothers). 

Enter #Archimom; a unique breed of architect, wife, mother, innovator and chronic overachiever. Archimoms make up part of the 18% of women in architecture who have survived the attrition based on pinch point factors brought out in the Equity by Architecture Survey. The term came from my fellow Syracuse University alumnae, Jung Lee Masters when she was spreading the word about the TM32PP and Equity in Architecture Survey, #Archimom embodies the amazingly talented Architect with the resilient powers of a modern day Marvel Superhero.

Archimom is an alter ego, a new state of mind. You don't need to literally be an "architect and mother" to identify with the mindset. Despite the challenges of time allocation, implicit bias, and constant guilt, we can learn many valuable lessons of finding satisfaction, meaningful work, prioritizing, and work/life flexibility from these Archimoms. Their "real life" truths are the beginning of storytelling as a means to inspire and motivate underrepresented talent to stay in the profession. And as witnessed most recently, an Archimom like Elizabeth Chu Richter, FAIA, who took time off from the profession to raise 3 children can come back to architecture to lead a practice as CEO and become the 2015 President of AIA National. It is nothing short of awe inspiring.

As luck would have it, a conversation developed on Twitter about the great stories on #Architalks and it quickly became apparent that the #Archimom perspective needed and wanted to be shared as well.  So a few of the Archimoms on Twitter decided to join together for a feature week on some everyday moments of truth and secret sauce ingredients for success. We reached out on Twitter for posts by Friday and promised a launch on Sunday.  Emily Grandstaff-Rice was the first to respond and Laura Melville Thomas quickly followed with her personal #Archimom experience.  So what started as a casual conversation on Twitter about using our voices, quickly grew into an amazing series of 13 stories within the course of the week. 

While we are featuring Archimom stories, we welcome more people to share their own adventures for Architecting and Parenting. (Mr. Archimoms welcome too!) What are your Top 10 everyday moments of truth and secret sauce recipe?

LInks to An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth Blogposts: (more fun than binge watching Netflix and possibly life changing in the process.)

Overview by Rosa T. Sheng, AIA 

NOTE: This page was last edited on Sunday, December 14, 2014 

 

Don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness.

Guest Blogpost by Jessica Rafferty

I recently traveled to Napa with two friends who are designers. Each sip of wine was followed by a critique of the tasting room, the detailing of the windows, or the questionable lighting used below the bar. Our conversation focused on the superfluous details while other visitors discussed the taste and quality of the wine. This is may seem like a familiar scene when designers get together. Work never really stays in the office when you’re passionate about it.  

At October's Equity by Design symposium in San Francisco, passion, well above financial compensation, was a common description as to why individuals took the path to architecture. However, according to this year’s Equity in Architecture Survey, a staggering amount of architects and designers are not satisfied by their jobs. After all-nighters in school, costly testing, and years of training with the expectation of making significantly less than other high-qualified professionals, what do you do when the passion starts to slip?

During the recession, I often heard my coworkers express that they felt lucky to just have a job. However, as growth returns to the industry, the Equity in Architecture Survey showed that women, as well as men, were struggling to find or maintain interest in their projects or job duties. In just the past year, my LinkedIn feed has been a critical tool for me to keep up with my peers’ movement in the industry, but do you have to leave your current job to find satisfaction? 

A major lesson from Equity by Design was to communicate your value. Communicating is not easy for everyone and that’s coming from someone who does marketing for a living. Laurie Dreyer of Stantec recommended in the Collaborative Negotiation session, “Don’t let karma dictate your future.” Speak up, ask for more. The worst someone can say is no, but at least you tried. This reminded me of one of my first project manager’s motto, “Don’t ask permission, ask for forgiveness”. The saying I’m sure was meant to inspire risk taking in design (but was often used to avoid explaining mysterious credit card charges). I like to consider the saying with a grain of salt, and often think about the phrase when I hesitate to speak up or think twice when negotiating.